A love letter to my donors, friends, and family

I always hoped that it would feel miraculous to leave my 20s behind and turn 30. Ever since my 27th birthday I have been dreaming about how it’d feel to have a grasp on my life in this new decade, but I never could’ve imagined how a breast cancer diagnosis would make things that much sweeter.

I spent a lot of my 20s fearful of doing and being the wrong thing, waiting for someone else to bestow my confidence and my purpose onto me. To avoid being rejected I’d rarely put myself out there unless it was for romantic “love” or for my art. For a lot of my life I had one idea about how relationships worked and struggled to feel fulfilled in the connections I was looking for, struggling to really feel deeply tethered to the people in my life.

But if there’s one thing cancer has lovingly given me, it’s all of you.

Breast cancer runs in my family on both sides so I have had my warrior aunts who have beat it and never looked back standing behind me. In a conversation I had with my Auntie Vernita that I’ll never forget, she said to me, “Cancer showed me that people are paramount.” I immediately tattooed that nugget on my heart because even though I was only weeks past my initial diagnosis, cancer had taught me that too.

What is this life about other than the love and connection with others? What is more important than being able to call on people when you need them and being able to offer support when it's your turn? What is more important than being able to be vulnerable and being held by your community? What matters more than how we feel with the people in our lives?

I had no idea what would happen when I recorded that video asking for donations. You all have broken open my heart and changed my life forever.

I am overwhelmed by the amount of money we’ve raised, the love and positivity spoken over my life, and the way so many of you have jumped into action since sharing my diagnosis with care packages, letters, meals, resources, flowers, surprise visits—the works! I am floored that in my mere 30 years of life I’ve met so many incredible people who think my life matters, as funny and perfect and flawed as it is. It’s honestly a lot to process. My phone is backlogged with texts and phone calls I need to return (please don’t charge it to my heart!!!) but I think about you incredible people every day.

I want to hug all of you.

I want to thank all of you.

I want to hang out with all of you!

I want to continue building this connection with all of you as I continue through this life changing experience and beyond. Every single text, comment, DM has felt like finally getting an opportunity to genuinely connect with people who see the real me and love me anyway.

A love I used to deeply struggle to feel worthy of.

Today, a lot less so.

Thank you for the endless love and support. Thank you for demonstrating that my life matters to you. I used to think I wanted to be loved by the masses of the world, but being loved by the people in my orbit has filled me up like no other and brought me more love than I realized one could experience while going through the worst thing in her life.

I hope you’ll consider sticking around this space with me! I’ll always be hanging out here in the in-between.

Talk soon,

G